Damn you people!

Alright, which one of you found me?

To the two ladies that work together, which one of you is reading this? Did you get me drunk and I told you? You KNOW SoCo gives me diarrhea of the mouth! Stop doing that! Biiiitchhh!

I'm starting to feel some pressure knowing that people read this. Should I start making shit up? No, that would be bad. I didn't have to work tonight, so I don't really have anything interesting to write. Bummer.

How about a horror story from my days at the Olive Garden? Ah yes, the days at the OG. I loved working there! I don't know why, but I absolutely loved working there. Would I go back? No. Not unless I could bring my entire management team (minus Rhonda) with me.

So I had the 4 bar booths this night. (we were the new Tuscan style place) 101, 102, 103, 104 were my tables that night. I was getting my bar pay, but waiting tables, and not splitting tips. I still had to make my own drinks, which was a major pain, but otherwise awesome.

Anyway, the night was almost over, and I had two tables that wanted to sit in the bar area.

Table 104 - Younger, mid twenties, regulars, excellent tippers.
Table 103 - Crotchy old people, not much time left, wants everything yesterday.

Table 104 usually comes in for lunch, but they cut through the OG parking lot to get to Best Buy, saw my car and decided to stop for dinner when they were done shopping. They order a Chicken Alfredo and a Tour of Italy....and of course salad and bread, extra ranch.

Table 103, never seen them before.... I walk up to the table with my wine bottle, "Hi! I'm bella, I'll be taking care of yo...... "WE DON'T DRINK!" Okay, fine. I just turned around and set the bottle on the bar "Well, I guess you wont be needing that! So how about something to drink?" The old woman just scowls at me and says "I just told you we don't drink! Is that too hard to understand?"

"No, ma'am, I was thinking maybe an iced tea, coffee, maybe a soda?"

"I just want water, with a lemon, and a straw."

"and for you sir?" *big smile*

"I'll have a Dewars, up." I think he might have felt bad or something. who knows.

I bring the drinks, they order food. She orders a Chicken Alfredo, lunch portion. " I want the lunch size! I cant eat the dinner size! It's too much food! Lunch size! You got that?" Yesss..
He orders the Tour of Italy. "Allright folks I'll get that right in for ya!"

I walk past 103 on my way to the compris and they're looking at me just laughing. I stop at at the the table and say "Is everything super freaking fabulous over here folks?" In a really sarcastic tone with a big cheesy smile. It just makes them laugh even harder. I walk away to put the order in.

Flash forward to 103 coming out. A co-worker was carrying my food to the table, I thought it was strange that 104 was coming out before 103. I go over to serve my food. (when Im not busy, I like to deliver my food.) Just as Lisa was setting the plate onto the table I notice it was a dinner size going to the 'I can't eat that size' lady...Oh shit.

"LISA! NO!" I grabbed the plate right out of her hand. "This goes to 103, can you check the window for 104? Its the same thing, just lunch size on the alfredo."

And then I got the old lady freak out.. "You're gonna take food right out from under me? right off my table?"

"Ma'am, this isn't your food. Your food is on the way, this food, goes to the table behind you."

"Well, I don't know who you think you are little missy! I can't believe you would take food from me! You can't do that! You can not do that! thats my food! you can't do that!!"

"Ma'am, that wasn't what you ordered. Your food is..."

"I guess you don't want a tip from us! Cuz you're not gettin one!"

"Well ma'am, I'm glad you found a reason not to tip me. Your order should be out shortly"

I walked over to my other table, rolled my eyes, and they just laughed. "Bella, seriously, how do you do this?"

"Honestly? I get to meet people like you." They tipped me about 75% and later bought me a few drinks at the bar down the street when I got off work.

The old fuckers stiffed me and called corporate.